Gathering my thoughts on “The Line”

This is where I semi-obligatorily* but still 100% actively gather my thoughts about an event I went to last night: a screening of  Nancy Schwartzman's film The Line followed by an audience discussion and a very awesome and engaging panel, including:

• Director Nancy Schwartzman
• Michelle J. Anderson, Dean and Professor of Law at CUNY School of Law
• Neil Irvin, Men Can Stop Rape (MCSR)
• Don McPherson, former football player; current sports announcer and activist
• Meghan O'Connor, NYC Alliance Against Sexual Assault

Schwartzman is very much interested in using her own experience of sexual assault to raise awareness, promote dialogue about sexual consent (both desire and personal boundaries), and educate others (especially youth) about expressing their desires and respecting one another's. In doing so, she's also started the "Where is your line?" campaign: 

I want to reflect on two things: (1) the film and (2) the larger discussion, which informed my own takeaways.

The Film

A one night stand far from home goes terribly wrong. As the filmmaker unravels her experience, she decides to confront her attacker.

Told through a “sex-positive” lens, THE LINE is a 24 minute documentary about a young woman – the filmmaker- who is raped, but her story isn’t cut and dry. Not a “perfect victim,” the filmmaker confronts her attacker, recording the conversation with a hidden camera. Sex workers, survivors and activists discuss justice, accountability and today’s “rape culture.” The film asks the question: where is the line defining consent?  THE LINE was completed in July 2009.

What I think is really great about The Line is that Schwartzman is "not the perfect victim." The film also follows Schwartzman's friend (a more "perfect victim") who experienced stranger rape and was able to find legal justice. Schwartzman, at once, is sharing an experience that is very common but is also incredibly brave for sharing this common experience because she sets herself up to be attacked by victim-blaming.

For me, one of the most interesting parts of the film was the montage of reactions from friends and personal questions of doubt. You hear most of her friends telling her that it wasn't rape and even one female friend basically saying "that's happened to me a bunch of times but I never thought it was rape." And you also hear Schwartman's own self-questioning, which I found very relateable as someone who's also been the victim of date rape.

My second favorite thing about the film is that she interviewed sex workers at the Bunny Ranch to have a discussion about defining consent. That scene is ripe for analysis! For the sake of brevity, maybe that's another entry, but that was fantastic. 

My Takeaways

First, I appreciate that the theme of the screening was "Story Leads to Action!" The guest speakers (experts in the field) were absolutely amazing. I attended with my friends Kristen and Gillian so I was fortunate enough to have a "debriefing" with them after the event. We agreed that Michelle J. Anderson was amazing! Dr. Anderson specializes in rape law and feminist legal theory. She brought an important voice to the table in which she clearly defined that there is a spectrum of rape and that the legal system currently ignores the vast majority of sexual assaults in its definition of consent, which is based on very defined gender roles with men being sexual initiators and women agreeing to sexual consent. Furthermore, the current model draws its own line in which once a woman agrees to one sexual act, she agrees to the entire variety of sexual acts. I wish I could keep Dr. Anderson in my pocket or on speed dial when I have to deal with talking to people about sexual assault.     

I also found that Neil Irvin and Don McPherson brought amazing perspective. I was very impressed by both of their work as well as their absolute respect for women's voices. Their models are to teach men and young boys about a positive masculinity that resists patriarchy and respects women. I also very much respected the way in which they allowed themselves to learn from women (and never speak for women). While their work is necessary and important to ending rape/dismantling rape culture (putting this responsibility in the hands of men as the major perpetrators of sexual violence), they made it very clear that they didn't necessarily want to get pats on the back for promoting a respect for humanity among males; citing the path that women activists paved for them. And Don McPherson often weaved in important relevant issues, including the role of consumer culture. If this was Sassy Magazine I would write a "crush alert" profile on his mind.  

With that said, I noted a strong absence of men at the screening and it immediately struck me that the two men on the panel were men of color in that I was like "Where the white men at?" I was not alone in this questioning. The two men noted that they have found themselves on several panels where their fellow male activists are all men of color. This is offensive for two reasons: first, it sends the message that sexual assault only happens in communities of color and that men of color are, therefore, responsible for teaching their own communities while white men are not (as though there is not a clear history of white men raping women from all backgrounds!!!!). Second, as a white woman who is currently in a relationship with a dude of color but has dated my fair share of white men [not to mention that I have been assaulted by an Asian man, which really throws racial-gender stereotypes on their heads], it really pisses me off how many white men still refuse to engage in these dialogues.

That points me to a recent experience that has been on my mind: Recently, a sexual assault within a sector of the punk community I am part of/related to was exposed after years of public (but certainly not private) silence. What ended the silence is that women were tired of letting it slide while many guys we knew chose to support a band with a serial rapist because they had the convenience and privilege of being able to ignore it. They could pretend that it was "gray rape" or that it was "complicated" because  they wanted to support their friends and a band they liked and they could maintain this cognitive dissonance because they didn't have the same fears, as women did, about this guy possibly going on tour and assaulting other women. They weren't socialized to see themselves as potential rape victims, so they could willfully detach themselves from the situation while most women simply could not.

Attn: Men: Caring is not for "pussies"

I don't want to get into all the details here about this particular case (but I may write more about it later) but this recent experience within my own community made me notice the clear absence of white men at this event and in this particular activist community. I wonder: Is it some men of color's experience as marginalized men (and, for Black men, experiencing violence is disturbingly common) that allows them the vantagepoint and/or WILL to understand or TRY to understand violence against women, while white men largely remain silent about their role as men in perpetuating a culture of violence? I really think this is why it's so important to teach boys and men that caring doesn't make them "pussies"! You don't have to be a victim to care about victimhood and violence prevention.    

I left the screening with too many thoughts and ideas about "next steps" to really cover here, but I wanted to share my primary reactions. I encourage you to also see The Line, and I hope we can open more and more opportunities to discuss the ways in which we can end rape and dismantle rape culture by promoting positive visions of sexuality, masculinity, and femininity and creating discussions in which we can better understand consent, respect, and accountability.               

*I would also like to add that at the screening the filmmaker was very clear about actively engaging people to take steps to make this film "viral"--signing a "takeaway" sheet in which each viewer checks off what they will do to spread the word about the film. I, of course, am doing exactly what I said I would because I don't fuck around. Anyway, I think that is a really great idea--to not just prescribe actions but to also have participants in an event commit to an action. I'd be interested in using this tactic in other arenas. And I'd also recommend to the filmmaker that she extends these takeaways beyond her own film. Rather than just checking off boxes that say "I will become a fan of "The Line" on Facebook" or "I will tell 10 people about The Line," I think it would be beneficial to also check a box, such as "I will talk to my partner about what I learned from The Line" or "I will talk to my son/daughter about treating women's minds and bodies with respect", etc.